To have someone swear that they will never leave, whatever; this gives life a calm centre. It means you don’t have to be frightened.

This trust is the ultimate gift exchange. It has to be completely selfless; if you expect something in return then you’re doomed. At the same time though, it’s like leaning on one another. Life’s easier for you both, but if one side stops pushing, then the other side can’t lean against thin air. So, I admit that there is an implicit contract - but you shouldn’t abuse it.

I know that this sounds like an advertisement for marriage. To offset this impression have a look here. Also, you should know this... I’m really happy with my marriage, but my feelings now are totally different from how they were when I got married. I don’t think that it’s anything more than random chance that Hilde and I have developed such a happy way of living with each other. It wasn’t pre-ordained. It wasn’t through hard work. It was just lucky. I really hope that we stay lucky...