Being in love is horrible. It's a madness, an obsession. It's happened to me several times,
and it's never made me happy.
The love I'm speaking of here is the desperate, mad 'in love'
feeling which you get for a few months at the start of an intense relationship. Not the
less overwhelming, but somehow more fulfilling love that you
have when you really get to know someone.
Here's an article that I found on the BBC News web-site
which illustrates my point perfectly...
Thursday, July 29, 1999 Published at 19:05 GMT 20:05 UK
Falling in love drives you mad
You must be crazy to fall in love
Falling madly in love may really make you mentally ill, according to Italian
Their research found emotional and biological similarities between people in
love and those suffering from a psychiatric disorder, says a report in New
Psychiatrist Donatella Marazziti, of the University of Pisa, noticed how
lovesick youngsters' one-track thoughts mirrored those of people with a
mental illness called obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).
OCD sufferers experience nagging, anxious thoughts and feel compelled to
repeat tasks such as washing their hands and tidying up.
In 1990, Dr Marazziti found OCD was linked to lower levels of the brain
chemical serotonin, which affects people's moods.
But she was struck by how sufferers' obsessive emotions recalled those of
people newly in love, who often praise their loved ones wit and beauty for
hours on end.
When she and her team compared serotonin levels between 20 lovesick Italian
students and 20 people with OCD, they discovered both groups had similarly
low levels of the brain chemical.
Obsession aids evolution
"It is often said that when you're in love, you're a little bit crazy," said
Dr Marazziti. "That may be true."
University of California psychiatrist Hagop Akiskal, one of the research
team, suggested this obsessive behaviour may be linked to evolution.
Without intense emotion, he said no-one in their "right" mind would fall in
love and have children.
But the study found the first flush of love does not last as emotions settle
When the researchers tested the students a year later, they found their
serotonin levels had returned to normal and their obsession with their
partners had died down.
The search for love
Lucy Selleck, a counsellor for marriage guidance group Relate, said people
can become blinded by love and make unwise decisions.
"It seems for some people the feeling of falling in love is quite
addictive," she said.
"When it levels off it's a bit of a let down so they go off seeking it again
But Vicki Carr, a consultant with dating agency Drawing Down the Moon, said
some find the search for love frustrating.
"The people we deal with want to experience the madness of falling in love
but it is not really happening."